Twitter Lunch & Desperation
Updated: Mar 21, 2020
This week: I shot new headshots, started a new class, went to a twitter lunch, and had an audition.
Let's start with the twitter lunch since that probably makes the least sense to an outsider of the Atlanta market. Feldstein|Paris Casting will at random tweet that they are having lunch at a specific time and location. Actors will then flock to them and create a circle around them while they eat their lunch. We introduce ourselves, ask questions, and just show face. You don't bring a headshot. Just yourself. It's really a unique thing they're doing, and very generous to actors. You'll never get that in LA. You're giving us nobodies a chance to make an impression. Unfortunately sometimes we make a bad impression. Or at least that's my go-to. I tend to become incredibly awkward at networking events. I say stupid shit. I completely lose all quirky/funny parts of my personality and just go into desperate actor mode.
Me at a twitter lunch a few months ago: "Chase! I dyed my hair! This is what I look like now!"
God, what an idiot. This last time I just ate lunch with some friends, and "showed face" in front of them. I said hi when they first got there, but I didn't bother them with my desperation like I normally would. Probably for the best.
I've spent the majority of my time as an actor, very desperate and needy. My career is ultimately in everyone else's hands.
"Please like me! Hey! Hey! Look at me! Hey! Notice me! I'm talented! Someone hire me! Give me a shot! Please!"
Girllll no one likes the stench of desperation. I don't know if it's cynicism or maturity, but I'm learning to not care so much. In my new class this week our instructor said:
"Stop trying to impress people. Stop. Trying. To. Impress. People. They already have their Meryl Streep. They don't have you yet. Just be yourself."
This struck a cord with me. I try so hard to be likable, to get noticed, to be assertive with my interactions with decision makers so that casting directors and agents always have me on their radar. What happens though is that you aren't even being yourself. You're being annoying. You're actually being unlikable.
And when I say "you" I'm talking about "me" :).
Have you ever met someone and they get too comfortable too soon with you? You barely know this person and they act like you've been friends for years? They're asking favors of you like you owe them? It's weird and off-putting. You don't even know me, why are you interacting with me this way?
Does that make sense? That's how actors treat literally everyone else in the industry. You're a casting director/agent/producer/director? Ooh! Let me just spew all of this nonsense to try and impress you with my charm! You're so funny and interesting! Isn't this going well?! Hey! Can I have your email? No? Okay well I'll have my agent email you then. Thankkkks!
Moving on to: I had an audition for a project I auditioned for a couple of weeks ago. This week it was for a different role, with more scenes. This is a big casting director that has never called me in before. I was elated to see that they must have enjoyed my last audition. That's the only validation you get in this industry. You never hear back on auditions that you don't book. You only know you did something right if you get called in again by that same CD. Especially if you get called in for the same project for a bigger role. Now, I'm aware I won't book this. I never book anything. "Well not with that attitude!" Shut up Brenda, I'm being realistic. Let me live in my self pity. It's comfortable here. Hugs.
I also shot new headshots this week. I'm going for "generic employee" and "cop".